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Aho Me Moha Vitatim

(1)(pińgalovāca)aho me moha-vitatiḿpaśyatāvijitātmanaḥyā kāntād asataḥ kāmaḿkāmaye yena bāliśā

(2)santaḿ samīpe ramaṇaḿ rati-pradaḿvitta-pradaḿ nityam imaḿ vihāyaakāma-daḿ duḥkha-bhayādhi-śoka-moha-pradaḿ tuccham ahaḿ bhaje ‘jñā

(3)aho mayātmā paritāpito vṛthāsāńketya-vṛttyāti-vigarhya-vārtayāstraiṇān narād yārtha-tṛṣo ‘nuśocyātkrītena vittaḿ ratim ātmanecchatī

(4)yad asthibhir nirmita-vaḿśa-vaḿsya-sthūṇaḿ tvacā roma-nakhaiḥ pinaddhamkṣaran-nava-dvāram agāram etadviṇ-mūtra-pūrṇaḿ mad upaiti kānyā

(5)videhānāḿ pure hy asminnaham ekaiva mūḍha-dhīḥyānyam icchanty asaty asmādātma-dāt kāmam acyutāt

(6)suhṛt preṣṭhatamo nāthaātmā cāyaḿ śarīriṇāmtaḿ vikrīyātmanaivāhaḿrame ‘nena yathā ramā

(7)kiyat priyaḿ te vyabhajankāmā ye kāma-dā narāḥādy-antavanto bhāryāyādevā vā kāla-vidrutāḥ

(8)nūnaḿ me bhagavān prītoviṣṇuḥ kenāpi karmaṇānirvedo ‘yaḿ durāśāyāyan me jātaḥ sukhāvahaḥ

(9)maivaḿ syur manda-bhāgyāyāḥkleśā nirveda-hetavaḥyenānubandhaḿ nirhṛtyapuruṣaḥ śamam ṛcchati

(10)tenopakṛtam ādāyaśirasā grāmya-sańgatāḥtyaktvā durāśāḥ śaraṇaḿvrajāmi tam adhīśvaram

(11)santuṣṭā śraddadhaty etadyathā-lābhena jīvatīviharāmy amunaivāhamātmanā ramaṇena vai

(1) The prostitute Pingala said, “Just see how greatly illusioned I am! Because I cannot control my mind, just like a fool I desire lusty pleasure from an insignificant man. [30]

(2) I am such a fool that I have given up the service of that person who, being eternally situated with my heart, is actually most dear to me. That most dear one is the Lord of the Universe, who is that bestower of real love and happiness and the source of all prosperity. Although He is in my own heart, I have completely neglected Him. Instead I have ignorantly served insignificant men who can never satisfy my real desires and who have simply brought me unhappiness, fear, anxiety, lamentation, and illusion. [31]

(3) Oh, how I have uselessly tortured my own soul! I have sold my body to lusty, greedy men who are themselves objects of pity. Thus practicing the most abominable profession of a prostitute, I hoped to get money and sex pleasure. [32]

(4) This material body is like a house in which I, the soul, am living. The bones forming my spine, ribs, arms and legs are like the beams, crossbeams and pillars of the house, and the whole structure, which is full of stool and urine, is covered by skin, hair and nails. The nine doors leading into this body are constantly excreting foul substances. Besides me, what woman could be so foolish as to devote herself to this material body, thinking that she might find pleasure and love in this contraption? [33]

(5) Certainly in this city of Videha I alone am completely foolish. I neglected the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who awards us everything, even our original spiritual form, and instead I desired to enjoy sense gratification with many men. [34]

(6) The Supreme Personality of Godhead is absolutely the dearest one for all living beings because He is everyone’s well-wisher and Lord. He is the Supreme Soul situated in everyone’s heart. Therefore I will now pay the price of complete surrender, and thus purchasing the Lord I will enjoy with Him just like Laksmidevi. [35]

(7) Men provide sense gratification for women, but all these men, and even the demigods in heaven, have a beginning and an end. They are all temporary creations who will be dragged away by time. Therefore how much actual pleasure or happiness could any of them ever give to their wives? [36]

(8) Although I most stubbornly hoped to enjoy the world, somehow or other detachment has arisen in my heart and it is making me very happy. Therefore, the Supreme Lord, Vishnu, must be pleased with me. Without knowing it, I must have performed some activity satisfying to Him. [37]

(9) A person who has developed detachment can give up the bondage of material society, friendship, and love, and a person who undergoes great suffering gradually becomes, out of hopelessness, detached and indifferent to the material world. Thus, due to my great suffering, such detachment awoke in my heart. Therefore, I am in fact fortunate and have received the mercy of the Lord. He must somehow or other be pleased with me. [38]

(10) With devotion I accept the great benefit that the Lord has bestowed upon me. Having given up my sinful desires for ordinary sense gratification, I now take shelter of Him, the Supreme Lord. [39]

(11) I am now completely satisfied and I have full faith in the Lord’s mercy. Therefore I will maintain myself with whatever comes of its own accord. I shall enjoy life with only the Lord, He who is the real source of love and happiness.” [40]

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